I Have Had this Congress

Last Thursday I set off for Philadelphia, PA, to watch the Sacred City Sacrificers play in the 5th annual East Coast Derby Extravaganza.

It. Was. Awesome.

I listened to 1776 the Musical in the airport both going and coming home; after all, it seemed only appropriate. The other passengers may have looked a bit askance while I bopped and mouthed the words, but as I'll never see most of them again (Rose City Rollers A-Team, the Wheels of Justice, were on my plane so I'll probably see THEM again), I didn't care at all.

Then I spent a glorious 24 hours with my dear friend Brie. We went to high school together and she is one of the few people from Juneau that I keep in touch with.

Old friends are the best friends!

We went to her local(ish) yarn store, The Tangled Web, where I couldn't resist this particular yarn:

Silky Wool XL in pink and burgundy. WOOT!

I also bought the most aDORable buttons for my Sacred Tempest Sweater (still not finished but much closer!!):

I also rescued a bunch of unloved sock yarn from Brie, who has an aversion to my beloved Lorna's Laces (the horror!). She was going to donate it to charity, but instead she donated it to ME. Hooray!

Then I left Brie and joined up with Sacred. I didn't get many photos of the actual skating, but if you check out Photography by D.E.sign on Facebook, there are lots of great photos. Donalee is the BEST. One photo I definitely stole from her is this one:

Rhymes with "Jones."

My derby name was accepted on June 23, the same day I left for Philly! It didn't take long to break out the glitter paint and get to work. Yea, I said glitter paint; it turns out derby requires more sparkles than a Madonna video from the 1980's. On Monday a bunch of us toured around in downtown Philly. We saw the Liberty Bell:

The crack is on the other side. Oh well! 

And a derby rules sign in the wild:

and generally had a boatload of fun. Then it was time to come home, and I was SO READY. Derby weekends are not known for their restfulness, y'all. Or their healthy effect on vocal cords; I currently sound like a frog, which is a definite improvement over Monday! I managed to get bumped off my flight in Denver despite the text messages from my bed and my kitty about how much they missed me. It got me $400 in United Airlines credit, which will be used to off-set the price of my ticket to go to Puerto Vallarta with the family this Thanksgiving! I got home at noon on Tuesday and it was totally worth every sleepless moment.

On Tuesday night I went to practice and worked out a bit, then on my way home I remembered that my milk had expired and stopped at Safeway, where I wandered around for 45 minutes putting random things in my cart, including the ingredients for the first Caprese Salad of the summer:

Best salad of all time. Final.

I can't wait for my own tomatoes to ripen! I also made creme fraiche using the recipe Brie posted on her blog, but with the addition of 1.5 tablespoons of sugar since I use it exclusively on top of fresh fruit, which for the next few days will be the FOUR POUNDS of strawberries I got at the store. Yeesh. I was a bit dubious about leaving dairy products on the counter for 24 hours, but it worked and now I have 2 cups of deliciousness in my fridge with only 3 ingredients! Science is fun. Next up might be my own mozzarella so that my 6-ingredient Caprese can be 1/2 homegrown!

Blueblood Island Shawl: Blocked and Finished

Final Stats:

97 grams

705 yards

Completely charming.

They Are Wed.

Congratulations to the newly-minted Mr. and Mrs. Erqsome!!

May your path contain just enough rain to let you share the occasional umbrella.

No Cookie, But Plenty of Yarn

The mailman has been busy knocking on my door for the last few days, dropping off packages from my recent knitting supplies ordering spree. I am now the fascinated owner of Heirloom Knitting, which is more knitting bang for my book buck than I anticipated. I grabbed a used copy for around $40 on Amazon and it is worth every penny!

I've also put my new blocking wires to work today:

Blueblood Island Shawl, Jade Sapphire Silk/Cashmere

I'm quite pleased with them! They're a little thinner than the wires I had previously, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing on how well they work. Really, this invention makes my life SO MUCH easier. Between the wires and the mats, I am thoroughly happy.

I've also been fiddling around with my Sacred Tempest Sweater, hoping to get it to fit right so I can have it off my UFO list and also have something to wear in the chilly summer California evenings.

Which is good, because the postman has been bringing more than just accoutrements. 

3.3 miles in the door. I have no self control. 

The first 6 photos are of Madelinetosh merino light, which I fell in love with when I knitted this up for my master teacher, Rachel. The next 2 are Regia Silk 4-Ply (obvs.) and were bought together because they are burgundy and pink (also obvs.). The last 3 are super-fine yarns from Fleegle at The Gossamer Web - first Tribble, then Sheherazade, then an orphan yarn that Fleegle allowed me to adopt on account of my unparalleled ability to take wayward yarn into my home. Yes, I realize I just brought in more yardage than I've finished knitting this year, and no, I don't feel (very) guilty. After all, that Blueblood Shawl can't take much longer to dry and I've a fingering-weight sweater nearly seamed. I wonder if I can get it done before I land in Philly on Thursday...

Philly?

Yes. This weekend I got derby-drunk (and maybe a little actual-drunk) and bought a ticket for the East Coast Extravaganza in Philadelphia! I can't wait. I show up on Thursday and get to spend a whole day with Brie - including meeting her kiddos and a tour of the local yarn shops - then meet up with the Sacred Sacrificers on Friday evening for a weekend of derby insanity. It's going to be epic. I'm taking the Tempest to finish (hopefully) and the Rosebud Shawl to work on, plus loading up my iPod with a few more classics. In addition to derby madness, I might even crank through some solid knitting yardage while I'm away!

Paris, Please!

I don't usually enter blog contests because I'm lazy, I usually find out about them the day after the entry closes, and I don't need more stuff like vacuums.

But this is a tiny bit different. Yes, it's still a contest, but it's to go to PARIS. For a WEEK! And it's put on by a woman who might be my role model; she packed up her family and just... moved. To Paris. I don't even have a family to pack, so it might be even easier for me!

Some day, people. Some day hopefully soon. I'm shooting for the next 3 years, I think. In the meantime, I'd wander the streets of Paris humming Les Mis and gawking at unpasteurized cheese just out in the air with no plastic wrapping. Oh, and worship at the feet of Nike.

Also, you should go enter too!

On the Path to the Land of Lace

So the other day I finished (but have not yet blocked) my Blueblood Island Shawl and skeined/washed an unknown yardage (somewhere between one and 2999 yards...) off a cone of yarn I ordered from Colourmart waaaaay back in 2007.

2/36 cashmere/silk in "Tussah." 2/36 means that 18 meters of this yarn = 1 gram. 3000 meters (1.7 miles) is 150 grams, which is about 1/3 of a pound. That's the weight of a hamburger patty.

I think I'm going to have to start entering the date in my Ravelry Stash so that I know how long yarns tend to marinate! Jeez. Anyway, the washing didn't take long even if it was a slightly odiferous business - spinning oils smell yucky and wet silk has a strange alien insect-y smell that is distinctly unpleasant. Then yesterday I knitted a swatch of Sharon Miller's Rosebud Shawl center pattern (101 in 1001 Craft goal #5!):

Top half: 2.75mm needles. Bottom half: 3.25mm needles

I KNOW. It's like you don't even know who I am anymore, what with this premeditation of projects and all the swatching! I tend to like slightly denser lace, so I went with the 2.75mm needles (US 2). Also the swatch is 35 stitches across and 8" with the 2mm needles. Just the center of this shawl is 117 stitches across, plus the borders and edging. It's going to be pretty big even on the smaller needles! This also proves my time-tested theory that I should just drop 2 needle sizes from the recommended size right out of the gate.

Lately I've had a hard time knitting and watching TV at the same time, so I decided to do my Shetland knitting while listening to audiobooks. Currently I'm on an Anthony Trollope kick, which dovetails nicely with the Classics Challenge and also makes me feel quite historical to be knitting a Victorian pattern out of English yarn while listening to a Victorian novel. We'll just ignore the part where I'm listening through a device made in China that holds 800% more information than the first computer...

I'm 2.5 of 11 repeats into the pattern and, as is usual, it looks like crap:

Unblocked Lace is Not Sexy

But at least I have my swatch to remind me how pretty it'll be... someday...

Many, many of my posts are going to involve this shawl for awhile. I hope you all like beige...

Classics Challenge 2011

One more thing that gets its own post.

On a whim I joined Stiletto Storytime's 2011 Classics Challenge half way into the year because I am perpetually on South American Time (directly descended from Mediterranean Time, which is the progeny of Middle Eastern Time. I am always late and it is genetic, is what I'm saying.)

And as if that weren't challenging enough, I'm signing up under the PhD challenge, which is to read forty (40!) Classic Books this year. But don't cry for me yet, Argentina, because I've already gotten a solid showing of capital-C Classics into my head since January - mostly through the Magic of Audiobooks and also because I am now a teacher and should read books before I attempt to teach them to my students.

1. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. Night - Elie Weisel
3. The House on Mango Street - Sandra Cisneros
4. A Raisin in the Sun - Lorraine Hansberry
5. One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey
6. The Odyssey - Homer
7. Wives and Daughters - Elizabeth Gaskell
8. Ruth - Elizabeth Gaskell
9. The Way We Live Now - Anthony Trollope
10. Barchester Towers - Anthony Trollope
11. Doctor Thorne - Anthony Trollope
12. Framley Parsonage - Anthony Trollope

So I'm over 1/4 finished, and I haven't even been working that hard on it. Trollope has been amusing me for several months now, and I'm getting my annual summer hankering for Dickens and Austen as well. Since I rediscovered my local library, I've been keeping a list of all the physical books I've read for Education #7 on the 101 in 1001 challenge, which is starting to seem like a pitiful number. Fifty books indeed... PFT. The List needs revamping anyway, so perhaps I should add "read ANOTHER 50 books" in place of "try 100 MORE new recipes" (that's a total of 300 new recipes in all. I was perhaps a little overly ambitious...). 

Anyway, there's the challenge. Once I've finished my lurve affair with Trollope, I'll probably get a lot of my Classics suggestions from the SJSU Guilt List and sundry other Best Novels EVAR lists around the internet.

Please feel free to list your own suggestions in the comments!

Welcome to Summer!

Today is officially the First Day of (My) Summer. I turned in my final grades to my master teacher last night, and this morning I didn't bother getting up to an alarm for the THIRD DAY in a row. It was quite nice. Tomorrow I'll start setting the alarm for 9am and trying to get moving by a reasonable hour (for summer).

The last couple of days have been a kick in the proverbial pants. Saturday I took THB to see a show at Broadway Sacramento:

It. Was. Fabulous. When Mary flew across the stage for the first time, I definitely welled up a little bit. THB was equally happy. I was shocked to discover that this was his second "real play," especially since I went to college for 3 years in Ashland and went to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival practically every weekend! Next season of Broadway Sacramento includes Wicked (his first real play), West Side Story, and Mamma Mia!, so he was all excited to get season tickets. Given the disastrous finale of the first - and last - time I bought season tickets to a production company, you can bet that I'll be asking a few very pointed questions of the Box Office before we actually purchase seats...

But in the meantime, we're excited!

Yesterday I sat down to read my Ravelry forums over morning(ish) tea and got sucked into the Rabbit Hole of Shetland Lace. By the time I'd made it back out again, I'd ordered a used copy of Sharon Miller's Heirloom Knitting and two skeins of lace yarn from The Gossamer Web that I've been thinking about for ages. There is a note in my list of Summery Stuff to Do to pull out and catalog all the cones of yarn I've ever ordered for such lacy endeavors, which should probably happen today if I'm going to continue looking at stuff like this. And this. It's photos like these that make me want to drop everything I'm doing and go study 19th century lace on the Isle of Shetland. ::le sigh!::

I also made myself sit down and finish the last hour's worth of knitting on the Blueblood Island Shawl:

Rock Island Shawl by Jared Flood. Jade Sapphire Silk/Cashmere, Blueblood Red

I'm not going to weigh it for yardage until I've blocked it, and I won't be blocking it until my new blocking wires come in from knitsomuch on Etsy. My old blocking wires went missing in the move between San Jose and Roseville, so it'll be a treat to have some again! In the mean time, after I toss the lace cone stash, I'll be starting this poorly photographed but very pretty bit of knitting. Shetland lace, I am now your bitch.

Lastly, LOOK AT MY GARDEN!!

Well, a part of it anyway!

Yep. That's a real, honest-to-goodness TOMATO growing on my own vine. And in the background is another one! I'm tickled pink by this completely natural and to-be-expected development. There will be tomatoes this summer, my pretties! Beer and Caprese Salad cannot be far behind. Ahhh, summer.

How to Adopt a Human

For Memorial Day weekend, I went up to my mother's house with THB, where we drank wine, watched Megamind (hilarious), hung out with Waffles the Cat

and dug around in the garden. THB was moving cement pieces for my mom and he found all kinds of interesting Garden Denizens, including these two fellows:

You know you wanna kiss it...

Sharp-Tailed Snake. Never around when I need him.

I was tempted to keep the snake as a pet, but that particular breed eats slugs, which I am not willing to forage for. Eeeeeuch.

It's a good thing I didn't bring home a new pet because when I got here there was one waiting for me.

Let the Right One In!

This is the as-yet-unnamed back door kitty that some of you may have seen me complaining about on Facebook. He's very sweet, loves to purr and hug, has extremely amusing fangs that remind me of being in high school drama class, and is at this very moment sleeping on a towel outside my back door. Aside from finding a dry place to sleep in the Very Unseasonable Rainshower Weather that Sacramento has been experiencing, he's been there for a week.

Today I let him inside the apartment to see how he and Mr. Prissypants Darcy got along. Darcy was better than I expected; he only hissed once and meowed in an annoyed fashion while Back Door Kitty showed him his belly and purred as loudly as his little purrbox was able. But after I put BDK back outside, Darcy actually took a swipe at me! Little bastard clearly knows who let the interloper in the door...

He vaaants to saaaack your bloooooood! Or eat Greenies. Either one, really.

We'll see how long this goes on for. I printed up signs that I'll be putting around the neighborhood and at local pet shops tomorrow; hopefully someone will come claim him. He's too sweet to be a feral, and while I wouldn't really mind having another cat I think that Darcy REALLY would. I'd hate to have to start shutting my bedroom door again; Darcy's method of expressing his displeasure at being a member of a more-than-one cat household is to shit on my bed, which is charming in the extreme.

And then on to the knitting! I'm back in Garter Stitch Country with the Rock Island shawl; I fancy that I can sense it getting smaller every right side row, but I know it's just my imagination.

It's going to be lovely, though, and I managed to turn a couple of my Ukrainian immigrant girls back onto knitting today by whipping this baby out and showing them how awesome knitting has become on the internet.

I'm highly amused that I just typed that last sentence. But not as amused as I am by FINALLY having captured this little trick on film (possibly quicker loading link is here):

It's Freestylin' Friday!

At least, that's what my freshmen announced to me this morning. They quickly followed it up with a request that I rap, whereupon I pointed at my pasty skin and replied that I would be doing no such thing. Being a teacher is hilarious.

As I am apparently following trends of Stuff White People Like today, I poured myself a glass of Wine Cube Cabernet/Shiraz and decided to post on my knitting blog.

Two bottles of wine in one 6" cube; 100% effective. 

It was a total impulse buy from Target when I went to get gardening tools earlier this week, and since I cracked it open I've learned an important lesson: it doesn't feel like you're refilling your wine glass if you're getting it from a spigot on your counter. Also, you don't know how much is left because the container is obviously opaque, being made of cardboard. For people (like me) who tend to judge when they should stop by how much wine is left in the bottle (half-ish when you have to get up in the morning), this is very. dangerous. Teenagers can smell a hangover from a mile away.

Oh, what's that? You saw the reference to gardening tools? Ahhh, internets, if you only knew. My mother is a consummate gardener - I may have mentioned this before - and this year since I have a back "yard" I broke down and asked her to help me plant a few things.

You see, since I moved to California I've spent my summers subsisting mainly on Caprese Salad and beer, and tomatoes ain't cheap. Mom promised to help me plant a few tomatoes of my own this year, along with some basil:

L-R: Sun Sugars, Sweet 100's, and 4th of Julys

We calculated that I needed 3 types: the Sun Sugars are now a family tradition and often don't make it out of the garden; the Sweet 100's are for the salad; and the 4th of July's are for when tiny tomatoes just won't do. It was a herculean effort not to get more plants; after all, they're so small and I love homegrown tomatoes so much! But I restrained myself with a mental picture of every other blackened, shriveled plant I've ever tried to grow.

Peppermint, basil, lemon thyme. oregano, Greek thyme, and an asparagus fern for inside

Once we got into the herb aisle, it was all over. I absolutely LOVE fresh thyme, and I figured I'd need the peppermint at some point for tea. So where I had no plants I now have 9, and Mother Nature promptly put me in my place by sending a 3-day hail storm. To Sacramento. In MAY. But my plants and I weathered it, and now the tomatoes are edging their way past the second round of the cages. I'm cautiously hoping that my prodigious Black Thumb will begin to turn green around the edges.

Also there has been knitting! The blogging today represents a break from said knitting; I'm on repeat #54 (of 77) of the edging of my Rock Island Shawl; I might even finish the edging this evening. AND my blocking boards came in the mail this week! I am super-stoked about them; they're each 2' square and 1/2" thick, and I have 9 of them which is more than enough to block pretty much anything I can imagine. I tested them out last night:

YES.

I recommend this company and set up without reservation. Each tile cost me $3.96, which is 99 cents/square foot, and they use solar energy! Definite bonus.. (In comparison, Knit Picks charges $20 for 9 square feet in 1' tiles.) It turns out that blocking boards are, while not absolutely essential, a much appreciated resource when one lives in an apartment with all wooden floors. I pulled it off the mats today and tried to photograph the scarf, but I ran into a bit of difficulty:

He insisted upon laying on the scarf for a few minutes, then when he was sure he'd won, we negotiated a truce.

Aria Scarf, Madeline Tosh Merino Light in Composition Book Grey. 420 yds.

I added the yardage to my 11-Mile Quest total back when the actual knitting was completed, but I DO get to take the progress bar for this one off the side of the blog, and I'm chuffed to pieces with my restored ability to pin stuff out. Next up on the blocking boards: the Hera Shawl! And maybe at some point even the Honeybee Shawl that I finished almost 2 years ago...

Triskaidekaphobia

The pile of Finished Objects to block is getting bigger!

Yes, that is an unwoven end. It's not blocked yet so I don't have to! 

Sometime in March I left the following note on my Hera's project page in Ravelry:

This has been languishing because I am apparently crap at figures. Argh.

Hah! It's true. Do you remember when your math teachers used to assure you in that oh-so-superior tone that you'd better learn this while you can because you're going to need it later in life? Well, it goes double for knitters. That's twice as much.

But I also remembered another little quote from the costume design teacher at Colorado State University:

If they can't see it on a galloping horse from 20 yards away, stop worrying about it.

Again, I say Hah! Knitting is also an exercise in making decisions about whether to fix the problem and move on or scrap everything and start over. The more knitting I do, the more inclined I am to do the former unless something is Completely Dire - 3 extra stitches, it turns out, definitely does not fit into that category, so I increased here and decreased there and voila! Numbers that match.

This shawl is big. Not huge - that descriptor is reserved for the great 6-foot square Shetland productions a la Sharon Miller and our Dearly Departed Knitters of Yore. But nevertheless, it is big.  These fence posts are 4" wide:

Tess Designer Yarns Super Socks & Baby, 1760 yards

And since it's largely in garter stitch it's also squooshy and pleasantly stretchy. It'll make an excellent California wintertime shawl, and I'm very pleased! And in case you didn't notice that number in the photo caption, it clocks in at 1759.5 yards. We round up here are Chez Unrepeatable - a girl deserves SOME sort of a break, after all! - so that's 1760 yards, or exactly one mile. Hurrah!

To celebrate, I wound up some yarn I got at the CommuKnity closing sale back in February of 2009:

Jade Sapphire Fibers Cashmere-Silk in Blueblood Red

At the time I thought I'd overdye it, but the color has grown on me and perhaps I'll keep it as it is. Either way, this will grow up to be a Rock Island Shawl, which will also be my entre back into the World of Lace from where I've been hiding in Garter Stitch Land. It's a bottom-up shawl, meaning that it starts with working the (interminable) edging sideways, then picking up and knitting ever-shorter rows until you bind off at the center of the neck. The pattern calls for ~600 yards and I have 800, so I've increased the width of the shawl a bit. Or I will once I get that far into the edging. Two repeats down and 75 to go...

The Hold List

Well, it's May and I didn't finish 2 of the 3 projects I had anticipated finishing this month. I'm close to being done with the Hera Mountain Ridge Shawl, and have 1/2 of the seaming done for my Sacred Tempest Sweater. I've sewn on the right sleeve, and the sleeve cap is kinda tight, so I'm going to have to regroup a little and figure out some sleeve vents that will match the stripe pattern. Argh.

So instead of knitting, I will distract you with the contents of my Library Hold Shelf! Raych posted today about how strangely gratifying it is to watch your hold number creeeeeeeeeep up the list. I totally agree, so here's what I anticipate reading soon(ish):

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: 104 of 167 holds. I tried the audiobook of this and it was AWful, so I'm in the queue for the text version like the rest of the world. I'm also doing a hold time dance with books 2 and 3 of the trilogy; neither is as requested as book 1 - which seems strange, doesn't it? - so I'm waiting until I'm closer to reading the first book before I request the other 2.

Lincoln's Dreams by Connie Willis: 1 of 3 holds. Connie Willis currently owns my soul. Blackout/All Clear are up for the Hugo Award this year, and I am desperately rooting for them.

Percy Jackson - Sea of Monsters and The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan: 2 of 2 and 1 of 1 holds, respectively. I enjoyed the first Percy Jackson novel more than I thought I would, so I figured I'd give the rest of them a shot.

Palimpsest by Catherynne Valente: 3 of 3 holds. The parts of my soul not owned by Connie Willis are in thrall to Valente even though it bugs the CRAP out of me that she's younger than I am and is a successful writer. Do I want to be a writer? No. My brain, it is a mysterious place.

Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente: 2 of 2 holds. For whatever reason, I forget about authors from time to time. This has a secret benefit when I re-discover them because they have often turned out books in the meantime. Hooray!

The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente: 1 of 1 holds. Thanks for reminding me about this author, Raych! I will now overdose on her work, if such a thing is possible.

Bossypants by Tina Fey: 176 of 176 holds. I also sometimes forget that I can borrow books relatively close to when they come out from the library by putting them on hold! And while I generally shy away from non-fiction, I've heard such good things about this book from People Whose Opinions I Value that I'm actually excited to read it.

13 Little Blue Envelopes by Maureen Johnson: 1 of 1 holds. The second book just came out, but my library doesn't have it yet. I love Johnson's blog but haven't ever read any of her writing.

Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later by "Francine Pascal": 29 of 29 holds. I'm willing to bet that all 28 holds before me are women around my own age who are DYING to know whether Elizabeth ended up with some lame-ass Perfect Husband and Jessica failed out of college and became a stripper.

You may notice that much of my list matches Raych's. This is because I was looking at her list when I went a bit crazy at my own library's website. What books have you read lately that you really like? What's on your Hold List?

We Did It!

The Rivalry between Jet City and Sacred City has been fierce over the last few years. At Regionals in September, we nearly had the win until five of our girls fouled out at the end of the game and handed it to Jet, who won by a mere 14 points. 

Photography by D.E.sign

That win secured them the #7 spot in the Western Region WFTDA rankings, and put us at #8.

Photography by D.E.sign

Saturday night, Sacred City's Sacrificers triumphed over Jet City's Bombers, 108-72. Welcome to #7, ladies! Doesn't it feel good up here?

Photography by D.E.sign

What Are You Doing Tonight?

I'll be here:

And in preparation, I'm spending my last free hour-and-a-half listening to the Derby Deeds Podcast and seaming up my Sacred Sweater. Will it be done in time? It's not looking good; I blame my monkey arms.

Seaming seems to take forever.

Seeekrit Reveal!

My favorite part of making Seekrit Stuffs is the waiting for them to arrive.

I sent it on Monday!

In the mean time, this is my friend Dinah's blog. I met her through my equally cool (if much farther away) friend Kate, who is now in Prague. I am jealous. And this is her (Dinah's) also cool husband Mac's blog. Together, they are the kind of people I would like to be if I weren't, y'know, ME.

They have a pair of dogs named Miss Moneypenny and Captain Awesome, turned their back porch into a Tiki bar, listen to amazing music, have forgotten more about pop culture than you or I will ever know, and host an annual Oscars party that makes the actual Oscars look boooring.

If you look through Mac's previous posts, it becomes obvious that they not only made a baby, but that said baby might be the World-Dominating Overlord that only two such cool people could create. Therefore I felt it to be my knitterly duty to provide said Overlord with the proper accoutrements for the required lessons in Fort Creation, Cape Wearing (incl. Swooshing/Over-the-Shoulder Tossing), and Parent Snuggling:

Spider-man Blanket
1738 yds.

Yesterday, the Future arrived, and so did the welcome package - although both Dinah and Mac were a bit busy at the hospital to be home to receive it. Congratulations, you guys! There's love and good wishes in every stitch.


And all you knitters out there can thank me when he's old enough to take over.

Oh HELL no.

From: A Certain Website

Subject: Your Order Has Shipped

Date: April 8, 2011 11:56:38 AM PDT

A Certain Website has sent you a shipment via UPS

The tracking number is: [redacted]

You have GOT to be kidding me!

ETA: But wait, there's more. Presented mostly without comment:

From: Tika Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 4:17 PM
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Shipped

This is absolutely unacceptable behavior on the part of your company.  I sent two emails on March 28 to cancel my order as the terms of the sale were unfulfilled and received a "gift certificate" instead of any type of answer. I will be issuing a chargeback on my Visa card immediately and will never order from you again; I will also actively dissuade anyone I know from purchasing from you. 

Tikabelle

__________

Hi Tika and thanks for your email.  We apologize that we did not receive your emails dated March 28^th, as we would have gladly cancelled the remainder of your order.  If you would be so kind as to refuse the shipment that we just sent out to you when it is delivered, we will gladly credit your account for the amount that was charged.  Again, we apologize for the Malabrigo situation as well as for not receiving your cancellation email, and would love the opportunity to make things right.  If there’s anything we can do, please let us know. 

Thanks,

A Certain Website

__________

From: Tika 

Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 4:45 PM

Subject: Re: Your Order Has Shipped

If I am at home when UPS arrives I will certainly refuse shipment. Otherwise I will be contacting you for a return shipping label. 

I must say that I find it difficult to believe in the coincidence that I sent my cancellation email on 3/28 at 3:13pm and received your "gift certificate" at 3:35pm, but that no one received either the cancellation or the email I sent responding to the certificate itself. Considering the customer service I have experienced with your company, I will not be ordering again and will be actively dissuading people from visiting your site. The most useful thing you could do at this point would be to remove me from any mailing list you have and delete my customer information from your database.

Tikabelle

 _________

 Unfortunately it was the gift certificate that we did send out that caused the problems we had with our email server, not just on the 28^th but for days afterwards.  I actually have emails I could forward to you showing you that my IT guy was working on the problem for days.  Regardless, we understand your frustration and will be happy to issue a call tag for your shipment if you happen not to be home when it arrives. 

Regarding removing you from any mailing lists, we are unable to do that from our end.  You can easily unsubscribe however simply by clicking the link at the bottom of any future emails you might receive. 

Again, we sincerely apologize for your frustration.

_________

Just wanted to forward to you an email that my IT guy sent to the person who was causing the problem with our email server.  Thought it might help explain the reason we didn’t receive your emails on the 28^th.

_________

Thank you for the explanation; I appreciate it. 

In future, after such problems are fixed, allow me to suggest that a blanket email to everyone on your list asking them to send any correspondence a second time would alleviate the problem we are now facing.

Tika

_________


I  am honestly baffled by the finger-pointing that this business thinks is acceptable. It's our supplier's fault that we didn't send your yarn! You all ordered too much yarn so it took too long and now we're losing business! It's the Internet's fault that we didn't get your cancellation email! And yet, not a single "holy crap, update!" email to be seen.


It's not as if communicating with customers costs extra these days. Email should come free with your ISP, and if it doesn't, you need a new ISP.




TL,DR version: Don't buy anything from these people, ever, no matter what the wool-shaped Mmmmmalabrigo demon on your shoulder tells you. 

A Promise to Myself

Lately every time I log into Ravelry I have visions of gigantic lace shawls dancing in my head. I've added so many of them to my queue that I may have achieved the coveted QABLE* status, especially considering that my current knitting capacity pretty much consists of garter and stockinette stitch. Right now I have three big projects that qualify as "almost finished."

One is seeeekrit and currently being bound off.

One needs seaming/buttonbands and, while it has moved locations, is still in the same state as the last photo. Sigh.

And one challenged me mathematically, but I figured it out so now I can get back into the groove once the other two are finished.

I will complete all three of these projects 1) before the end of April and 2) before I start on a lacy something. I don't know what yet, but it will be big, probably by Sharon Miller, and awesome.





*Queue Accumulation Beyond Life Expectancy. I am definitely on the young side of knitters, so this is a feat in and of itself.

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

Dear Friends,

Let me take you waaaaaaay back to December 24, 2010. Can you remember back that far? I know, it's tough for me, too.

Tika 2010 is sitting at her family's table after Christmas Eve dinner, a few glasses of wine in and poring over the IK Winter 2010 issue when she gets an email: Today is the last day for a 25% off bags of Malabrigo sale at a Certain Website! Visions of a gorgeous Thandie Funnel Sweater begin to dance in her head, and soon her cart is full of bags of delicious Mmmmmmalabrigo lace and Rios and worsted. She trims the cart as much as she can bear (25% off!) and places her last yarn order of 2010. 'This is it,' she thinks to herself, 'the Yarn Diet starts... tomorrow!'

Trip forward with me just 48 hours when, curious as to when her card will be charged for enough wool to smother a small Arctic village, Tika 2010 receives the following "confirmation" email for her order:

On Dec 26, 2010, at 9:05 PM, A Certain Website wrote:

Hi Tika,

We'd like to update you on the status of your order #26306 placed on 2010-12-24 13:06:02.0.

Your order #26306 is being processed and is expected to leave our shipping location within the time specified on our website.  Your "ships within" time-frame is located on each product page of the item(s) you ordered.  Did you overlook the "ships within" time-frame for your order?  No problem -- a "ships within" time-frame chart is attached to this email for your convenience.  Please remember to add 3 - 5 transit days to the "ships within" time-frame.

A Certain Website makes every effort to ensure that the products available for order on this site are current and available from the manufacturer.  There are times however when a manufacturer discontinues or backorders an item without immediate notification.

Once your order has shipped you will receive an email with your tracking information.  If you do not receive your tracking information, please be sure to check any SPAM folders you may be using.

If you require additional information regarding the status of your order, please feel free to respond to this email.

Thank you for ordering from A Certain Website.  We appreciate your business!

Customer Support

How very timely, if not very polite. And yes, Tika 2010 had overlooked the "ships within" timeframe on the website in a haze of projected wool fumes - otherwise the order may not have taken place, as the "ships within" time frame mentioned was 4-6 weeks. 'No matter!' she cried, 'I have plenty of wool to keep me busy until then!' And so it was.

Four to six weeks later, having been curious but not of the chewing-on-knuckles kind, Tika 2011 receives her next communication from A Certain Website:

Hello Tika,

We are happy to inform you that the order with Order ID - 26306 which you ordered on 24 Dec 2010 has been shipped out. It was shipped out on 04 Feb 2011 using UPS -- UPS Ground.
If you have further enquiries about your order, please email us anytime. Thank you for ordering from us and have a great day.

Well, that was six weeks to the day after the order, so hurrah! The yarn is coming! And yet the amount charged on the card is not right; some significant portion of the purchase price is missing. Worried that A Certain Website may be shorting itself, Tika 2011 sends an email asking about the discrepancy and receives the following reply:

Hi Tika,

Thank you for your email.  The Malabrigo that has not yet been shipped is:  Malabrigo Rios 69 and Malabrigo Lace 32. 

Thank you,

Joe

A Certain Website.com

Well, that explains it! Surely the missing yarn will show up both on the credit card and on the doorstep shortly. Meanwhile, some of you may recall this little Yarn Incident. What Yarn Diet?

And now I bring you forward in time once again to only 2 weeks ago. Tika 2011, in medium dudgeon about the lack of Thandie Funnel Sweater she is capable of making with only half of her yarn order still present - after all, one cannot brioche with only one yarn, can one? - sends the following email to A Certain Website:

Dear Customer Support,

On December 24, 2010, I placed the order mentioned in the confirmation email below. 

On February 4, 2011, I got an email stating that my order had shipped, but there was a discrepancy between the original amountand the amount charged on my Visa I emailed your sales department to ask why there was a difference and on February 7th was informed that two bags of yarn had not yet shipped: 

[Joe's Email here]

I understood from the phrase "not yet" in Joe's email that the yarn would be shipped close to within the 4-6 week timeframe listed on your website, which should have been immediately after the first shipment, February 4th being 6 weeks to the day after I placed my order. However, this was not the case, and since then I have heard nothing from your company. I logged in to my account today to find that my entire order is marked as "shipped," but as I have 1) not been charged and 2) not received the missing bags of yarn, that cannot possibly be the case. 

I would like someone to contact me immediately with information on when I can expect your company to fulfill my order. I am highly disappointed by the customer service I have received and look forward to an explanation as to what went wrong. 

Sincerely,

Tika

Order #26306

Forceful and slightly annoyed, but certainly not the cruelest or most vitriolic of letters. I have been in customer service, after all. This is the response:

Hi Tika,

Thank you for your email.  Due to the overwhelming success of the Malabrigo sale we ran in December, our supplier became somewhat backlogged.  Per our supplier, the remaining portion of your order is still being processed at this time.  We will have the rest of your order shipped to you the same day it arrives at our shipping location.

Your patience is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Joe

What a great cut and paste job you've done, Joe! Clearly you've gotten a lot of emails about this issue, but did your company bother to use the mailing list to explain the situation in one simple step? Apparently not. Tika 2011 is losing her patience.

Hi Joe,

Do you have any idea when that might be? I - and I'm sure your other customers as well - have been waiting for over 3 months for yarn I expected to have within half that time. If I had known it would take this long, I would have ordered from somewhere else; now half of the yarn I need for my project is here and the other half is stuck in the backlog somewhere.  I recognize that you are a small business, but an email explaining the situation back within your original timeframe of 4-6 weeks would have been welcome. 

-Tika

 Hi Tika,

We do not have an ETA.  We have tried contacting our supplier every week asking for an ETA, and none yet.  If we had known the special sale we ran was going to take this long, we would have either forewarned our customers or not have run it at all.  We sincerely apologize for this, and understand your frustration as we are also very frustrated – and losing business. 

We are hoping it is not going to be much longer.  We will let you know as soon as your order has shipped or as soon as we find out an ETA.

Again, we apologize for this delay.

Thank you,

Joe

Aaaaand there you have it: the "poor us, we're losing business" excuse. Now, I have no doubt that they are indeed losing business, but not for the reason they think. No indeed; the reason they are losing business is because they did not bother to contact their customers over the course of three months to tell them that the product they ordered wasn't, in fact, available in anything like the (ridiculous) time frame given.
I replied that if I had not heard from them in two weeks, I would be contacting them to cancel the rest of the order. That's today, and just look what was in my inbox when I came home from work!

A Certain Website has sent you a shipment via USPS
The tracking number is: [redacted]

 Surely not! Can it be? The timing is, to say the least, suspicious. And having played this game once before, I checked my credit card. Sure enough, only one of the two missing items was charged; in my account on the website the whole order shows as shipped, and there is no information in the email as to the one lingering bag of Rios that was missing - the CPH That Wasn't, if you will. /sadface

Dear A Certain Website,

Thank you for the update on my order. As it has been over 3 months since I placed the original, please cancel any remaining parts of the order that have not shipped. As I understand it, that would be the bag of Malabrigo Rios. Please cancel the remainder of this order immediately.

Two weeks ago I corresponded with Joe, who explained your company's situation in regards to the Malabrigo sale from December. While I understand the dilemma and I am sorry that you are losing business, I want you to know that the reason I am canceling my order and will not be buying from you again is NOT because of your difficulty in getting the yarn from the supplier. If I had received any sort of communication from your company explaining the situation and giving me any kind of update whatsoever, I would have been happy to remain a customer. Even this email today did not contain the information that only one of the remaining two bags of yarn had shipped and neither did my account on your website; I had to check my bank statement in order to discover that both bags were not on their way to me. 

I do not expect you to take any recommendation I might have into consideration since I will no longer be a customer after today, but I do urge you to consider being more clear in your communications with your clientele. A simple proactive email would have ensured my loyalty and patience.

Sincerely,

Tika

Order #26306

 So I hope I made myself clear to you, dear reader, if not to whomever reads the website's emails. Annoyed Tika 2011 is annoyed! But wait! What should appear in my inbox but the following:

Hello Tika,

You have received a gift certificate from A Certain Website. You can use the gift certificate whenever you are shopping at our store within the duration specified. You are entitled to a reduction of $  10.00 with any $100.00 purchase (excluding shipping) at our store when you use this gift certificate.

Below are the details of your gift certificate :-

gift certificate ID : FE9AC0D3-00EB-9ACC-1FC857B98EADB3E6
Validity of the discount coupon : FROM 28 Mar 2011 UNTIL 04 Apr 2011 with any $100.00 purchase (excluding shipping).
Discount Value :$  10.00
Gift certificates used on any purchase less than $100.00 will not be honored.

It is easy to use your gift certificate. Just enter the gift certificate ID listed above when adding items to your shopping cart and your discount will be applied automatically.

So, what are you waiting for? Go on over to A Certain Website now and start shopping and saving immediately!

I... I don't even... WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!?

You might well ask, Sumptuous Yarn Sale dot com. You might well ask.

101 in 1001 Part Deux-over Update: Part 1

Since my 101 in 1001 Part Deux-over is about 1/2 done, I figured I should revisit the idea a little and allow myself to tweak the list. Slightly shy of 3 years is a long time, and a lot of things can change. SO! Here is the first part of my list: the Lifestyle Section.

Lifestyle

1. Walk for 30 minutes 50 times (0/50)
2. Design and find someone to start new tattoo
3. Donate blood 8 times (0/8)
4. Find a new form of exercise that I enjoy and engage in it 2x/week for 6 months (see #13, may extend beyond end of 1001 days)
5. Lose 15 pounds and maintain that healthier weight
6. Make a list of 100+ things that make me happy.
7. Make a new 101 in 1001 list by July 1, 2012
8. Take a multi-vitamin and vitamin C daily through one bottle of each
9. Try 5 types/nationalities of food I have never tried before (0/5)
10. Create an outside play area for the cat
11. Donate 500 items to charity (0/500)
12. Get geneology from mom
13. Get health insurance
14. Go to a museum once per month (0/30)
15. Go to the dentist Summer 2010
16. Leave someone a 100% tip (on a bill of $15 or more)
3-15-2011
17. Rip big book of CD’s into iTunes
18. Try 100 fruits/vegetables (3/100)
19. Try 100 more fruits/vegetables
20. Try 100 MORE fruits/vegetables
21. Try 100 new recipes (5/100)
22. Try 100 more new recipes
23. Try 100 MORE new recipes
24. Try 50 new foods (fruits/vegetables don’t count) (4/50)
25. Try 50 more new foods (fruits/vegetables don’t count)

Ooooh jeez. Let's see, I guess I should start with... 

#1. I loathe walking. And really, the outdoors in general. I know that makes me a loser, but there it is. Perhaps I should revisit this idea, or just force myself to do it once the weather is nicer? Restructure it is!  

#2: I found the tattoo I want, so now I just have to find a good place to go. I like Wild Bill's where I got my wrist pieces done, but with the wealth of tattooed people in derby, I really should ask around. I'll get on that at tomorrow's practice.

#3: Donating blood is an issue for me; I don't get all woozy or anything, but I do have tiny, deeply buried little veins (to go inside my tiny little wrists and elbows), so going to the Blood Truck doesn't work. I have to go to the actual Red Cross place, and we all know how likely THAT is. Nevertheless, I looked it up and apparently there are no donation centers near here? That seems weird. 

#4: Derby. Started keeping track the first week of March. NEXT!

#5:  Derby may actually interfere with this - my shape is changing, but my weight is staying the same. I'll give it a bit more time and see what happens.

#6: I should work on this. It's now a .doc file on my desktop.

#7: Yeah yeah, not till next July. NEXT!

#8: Talk about annoying. And yet, chewable vitamin C is on my list for my next Trader Joe's run. 

#9: I love food and this goal is totally achievable if I don't slack on it. Mental note.

#10: A little chicken wire, some zip ties, and a new screen door should do the trick. Thank you to Saturday's storm for ruining my current screen door - it didn't stay in its track anyway.

#11: This one I can totally do. In fact, I cleaned out 3 of my drawers on Monday and took a big box of stuff to the Sacred warehouse for their annual rummage sale! I'll have to count how many pieces there were before practice tomorrow; I hope it's at least 25!

#12: I have this, I think? Hmm. Maybe I should ask.

#13: AHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA next.

#14: Jeez, ambitious much? Made a date to go with Jen either this Friday or next week sometime. 

#15: DONE this summer! Who waited 12 years between dentist visits and has no cavities? This girl. 

#16: DONE!

#17: What. is. this? They're in a book! Why would I mess with this? Stupid. Revisit.

#18-25: Argh. These definitely need restructuring. I like new food, I like messing about with recipes, and I agree that some of the 101 in 1001 should be a challenge (otherwise why do it?). But holy experimentation with my gut, Robin! Revisit and make achievable. 

Well, that's it so far. 25 of the 101, considered! Several are on their way, and two are verifiably finished. Now I just have to come up with new or altered ideas for the stuff that's unreasonable. Yikes.