Consolidation not Consolation

My Knitting Deadlines list is getting out of hand. There are upcoming babies, weddings, celebrations of various kinds, and all between now and January. Yikes! Last week I was looking through my stash on Ravelry - because why would I look at the ACTUAL stash when I can just browse through pictures?!? - and realized that a lot of what I know I have wasn't listed. This prompted a 2-day Stash Toss that involved my laptop, a camera set-up, and two huge uploads to Flickr of yarn that I knew on some level that I had but didn't know where it was.

I managed to catalog everything I could find; now it's a matter of inputting the yarn and images into Ravelry. And then the fiber stash needs to be done, because that's never been put into Ravelry. Lazy Raveler, no cookie!

And at the end of the day, the results appear depressingly minimal:

I emptied out the box on the left and 3/4-filled the box on the right. Argh.

But by heck, I know where all my yarn is and I have pictures of all of it! Now to just work through enough that I don't need overflow bins at all...

It's Freestylin' Friday!

At least, that's what my freshmen announced to me this morning. They quickly followed it up with a request that I rap, whereupon I pointed at my pasty skin and replied that I would be doing no such thing. Being a teacher is hilarious.

As I am apparently following trends of Stuff White People Like today, I poured myself a glass of Wine Cube Cabernet/Shiraz and decided to post on my knitting blog.

Two bottles of wine in one 6" cube; 100% effective. 

It was a total impulse buy from Target when I went to get gardening tools earlier this week, and since I cracked it open I've learned an important lesson: it doesn't feel like you're refilling your wine glass if you're getting it from a spigot on your counter. Also, you don't know how much is left because the container is obviously opaque, being made of cardboard. For people (like me) who tend to judge when they should stop by how much wine is left in the bottle (half-ish when you have to get up in the morning), this is very. dangerous. Teenagers can smell a hangover from a mile away.

Oh, what's that? You saw the reference to gardening tools? Ahhh, internets, if you only knew. My mother is a consummate gardener - I may have mentioned this before - and this year since I have a back "yard" I broke down and asked her to help me plant a few things.

You see, since I moved to California I've spent my summers subsisting mainly on Caprese Salad and beer, and tomatoes ain't cheap. Mom promised to help me plant a few tomatoes of my own this year, along with some basil:

L-R: Sun Sugars, Sweet 100's, and 4th of Julys

We calculated that I needed 3 types: the Sun Sugars are now a family tradition and often don't make it out of the garden; the Sweet 100's are for the salad; and the 4th of July's are for when tiny tomatoes just won't do. It was a herculean effort not to get more plants; after all, they're so small and I love homegrown tomatoes so much! But I restrained myself with a mental picture of every other blackened, shriveled plant I've ever tried to grow.

Peppermint, basil, lemon thyme. oregano, Greek thyme, and an asparagus fern for inside

Once we got into the herb aisle, it was all over. I absolutely LOVE fresh thyme, and I figured I'd need the peppermint at some point for tea. So where I had no plants I now have 9, and Mother Nature promptly put me in my place by sending a 3-day hail storm. To Sacramento. In MAY. But my plants and I weathered it, and now the tomatoes are edging their way past the second round of the cages. I'm cautiously hoping that my prodigious Black Thumb will begin to turn green around the edges.

Also there has been knitting! The blogging today represents a break from said knitting; I'm on repeat #54 (of 77) of the edging of my Rock Island Shawl; I might even finish the edging this evening. AND my blocking boards came in the mail this week! I am super-stoked about them; they're each 2' square and 1/2" thick, and I have 9 of them which is more than enough to block pretty much anything I can imagine. I tested them out last night:

YES.

I recommend this company and set up without reservation. Each tile cost me $3.96, which is 99 cents/square foot, and they use solar energy! Definite bonus.. (In comparison, Knit Picks charges $20 for 9 square feet in 1' tiles.) It turns out that blocking boards are, while not absolutely essential, a much appreciated resource when one lives in an apartment with all wooden floors. I pulled it off the mats today and tried to photograph the scarf, but I ran into a bit of difficulty:

He insisted upon laying on the scarf for a few minutes, then when he was sure he'd won, we negotiated a truce.

Aria Scarf, Madeline Tosh Merino Light in Composition Book Grey. 420 yds.

I added the yardage to my 11-Mile Quest total back when the actual knitting was completed, but I DO get to take the progress bar for this one off the side of the blog, and I'm chuffed to pieces with my restored ability to pin stuff out. Next up on the blocking boards: the Hera Shawl! And maybe at some point even the Honeybee Shawl that I finished almost 2 years ago...

Oh HELL no.

From: A Certain Website

Subject: Your Order Has Shipped

Date: April 8, 2011 11:56:38 AM PDT

A Certain Website has sent you a shipment via UPS

The tracking number is: [redacted]

You have GOT to be kidding me!

ETA: But wait, there's more. Presented mostly without comment:

From: Tika Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 4:17 PM
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Shipped

This is absolutely unacceptable behavior on the part of your company.  I sent two emails on March 28 to cancel my order as the terms of the sale were unfulfilled and received a "gift certificate" instead of any type of answer. I will be issuing a chargeback on my Visa card immediately and will never order from you again; I will also actively dissuade anyone I know from purchasing from you. 

Tikabelle

__________

Hi Tika and thanks for your email.  We apologize that we did not receive your emails dated March 28^th, as we would have gladly cancelled the remainder of your order.  If you would be so kind as to refuse the shipment that we just sent out to you when it is delivered, we will gladly credit your account for the amount that was charged.  Again, we apologize for the Malabrigo situation as well as for not receiving your cancellation email, and would love the opportunity to make things right.  If there’s anything we can do, please let us know. 

Thanks,

A Certain Website

__________

From: Tika 

Sent: Friday, April 08, 2011 4:45 PM

Subject: Re: Your Order Has Shipped

If I am at home when UPS arrives I will certainly refuse shipment. Otherwise I will be contacting you for a return shipping label. 

I must say that I find it difficult to believe in the coincidence that I sent my cancellation email on 3/28 at 3:13pm and received your "gift certificate" at 3:35pm, but that no one received either the cancellation or the email I sent responding to the certificate itself. Considering the customer service I have experienced with your company, I will not be ordering again and will be actively dissuading people from visiting your site. The most useful thing you could do at this point would be to remove me from any mailing list you have and delete my customer information from your database.

Tikabelle

 _________

 Unfortunately it was the gift certificate that we did send out that caused the problems we had with our email server, not just on the 28^th but for days afterwards.  I actually have emails I could forward to you showing you that my IT guy was working on the problem for days.  Regardless, we understand your frustration and will be happy to issue a call tag for your shipment if you happen not to be home when it arrives. 

Regarding removing you from any mailing lists, we are unable to do that from our end.  You can easily unsubscribe however simply by clicking the link at the bottom of any future emails you might receive. 

Again, we sincerely apologize for your frustration.

_________

Just wanted to forward to you an email that my IT guy sent to the person who was causing the problem with our email server.  Thought it might help explain the reason we didn’t receive your emails on the 28^th.

_________

Thank you for the explanation; I appreciate it. 

In future, after such problems are fixed, allow me to suggest that a blanket email to everyone on your list asking them to send any correspondence a second time would alleviate the problem we are now facing.

Tika

_________


I  am honestly baffled by the finger-pointing that this business thinks is acceptable. It's our supplier's fault that we didn't send your yarn! You all ordered too much yarn so it took too long and now we're losing business! It's the Internet's fault that we didn't get your cancellation email! And yet, not a single "holy crap, update!" email to be seen.


It's not as if communicating with customers costs extra these days. Email should come free with your ISP, and if it doesn't, you need a new ISP.




TL,DR version: Don't buy anything from these people, ever, no matter what the wool-shaped Mmmmmalabrigo demon on your shoulder tells you. 

A Promise to Myself

Lately every time I log into Ravelry I have visions of gigantic lace shawls dancing in my head. I've added so many of them to my queue that I may have achieved the coveted QABLE* status, especially considering that my current knitting capacity pretty much consists of garter and stockinette stitch. Right now I have three big projects that qualify as "almost finished."

One is seeeekrit and currently being bound off.

One needs seaming/buttonbands and, while it has moved locations, is still in the same state as the last photo. Sigh.

And one challenged me mathematically, but I figured it out so now I can get back into the groove once the other two are finished.

I will complete all three of these projects 1) before the end of April and 2) before I start on a lacy something. I don't know what yet, but it will be big, probably by Sharon Miller, and awesome.





*Queue Accumulation Beyond Life Expectancy. I am definitely on the young side of knitters, so this is a feat in and of itself.

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

Dear Friends,

Let me take you waaaaaaay back to December 24, 2010. Can you remember back that far? I know, it's tough for me, too.

Tika 2010 is sitting at her family's table after Christmas Eve dinner, a few glasses of wine in and poring over the IK Winter 2010 issue when she gets an email: Today is the last day for a 25% off bags of Malabrigo sale at a Certain Website! Visions of a gorgeous Thandie Funnel Sweater begin to dance in her head, and soon her cart is full of bags of delicious Mmmmmmalabrigo lace and Rios and worsted. She trims the cart as much as she can bear (25% off!) and places her last yarn order of 2010. 'This is it,' she thinks to herself, 'the Yarn Diet starts... tomorrow!'

Trip forward with me just 48 hours when, curious as to when her card will be charged for enough wool to smother a small Arctic village, Tika 2010 receives the following "confirmation" email for her order:

On Dec 26, 2010, at 9:05 PM, A Certain Website wrote:

Hi Tika,

We'd like to update you on the status of your order #26306 placed on 2010-12-24 13:06:02.0.

Your order #26306 is being processed and is expected to leave our shipping location within the time specified on our website.  Your "ships within" time-frame is located on each product page of the item(s) you ordered.  Did you overlook the "ships within" time-frame for your order?  No problem -- a "ships within" time-frame chart is attached to this email for your convenience.  Please remember to add 3 - 5 transit days to the "ships within" time-frame.

A Certain Website makes every effort to ensure that the products available for order on this site are current and available from the manufacturer.  There are times however when a manufacturer discontinues or backorders an item without immediate notification.

Once your order has shipped you will receive an email with your tracking information.  If you do not receive your tracking information, please be sure to check any SPAM folders you may be using.

If you require additional information regarding the status of your order, please feel free to respond to this email.

Thank you for ordering from A Certain Website.  We appreciate your business!

Customer Support

How very timely, if not very polite. And yes, Tika 2010 had overlooked the "ships within" timeframe on the website in a haze of projected wool fumes - otherwise the order may not have taken place, as the "ships within" time frame mentioned was 4-6 weeks. 'No matter!' she cried, 'I have plenty of wool to keep me busy until then!' And so it was.

Four to six weeks later, having been curious but not of the chewing-on-knuckles kind, Tika 2011 receives her next communication from A Certain Website:

Hello Tika,

We are happy to inform you that the order with Order ID - 26306 which you ordered on 24 Dec 2010 has been shipped out. It was shipped out on 04 Feb 2011 using UPS -- UPS Ground.
If you have further enquiries about your order, please email us anytime. Thank you for ordering from us and have a great day.

Well, that was six weeks to the day after the order, so hurrah! The yarn is coming! And yet the amount charged on the card is not right; some significant portion of the purchase price is missing. Worried that A Certain Website may be shorting itself, Tika 2011 sends an email asking about the discrepancy and receives the following reply:

Hi Tika,

Thank you for your email.  The Malabrigo that has not yet been shipped is:  Malabrigo Rios 69 and Malabrigo Lace 32. 

Thank you,

Joe

A Certain Website.com

Well, that explains it! Surely the missing yarn will show up both on the credit card and on the doorstep shortly. Meanwhile, some of you may recall this little Yarn Incident. What Yarn Diet?

And now I bring you forward in time once again to only 2 weeks ago. Tika 2011, in medium dudgeon about the lack of Thandie Funnel Sweater she is capable of making with only half of her yarn order still present - after all, one cannot brioche with only one yarn, can one? - sends the following email to A Certain Website:

Dear Customer Support,

On December 24, 2010, I placed the order mentioned in the confirmation email below. 

On February 4, 2011, I got an email stating that my order had shipped, but there was a discrepancy between the original amountand the amount charged on my Visa I emailed your sales department to ask why there was a difference and on February 7th was informed that two bags of yarn had not yet shipped: 

[Joe's Email here]

I understood from the phrase "not yet" in Joe's email that the yarn would be shipped close to within the 4-6 week timeframe listed on your website, which should have been immediately after the first shipment, February 4th being 6 weeks to the day after I placed my order. However, this was not the case, and since then I have heard nothing from your company. I logged in to my account today to find that my entire order is marked as "shipped," but as I have 1) not been charged and 2) not received the missing bags of yarn, that cannot possibly be the case. 

I would like someone to contact me immediately with information on when I can expect your company to fulfill my order. I am highly disappointed by the customer service I have received and look forward to an explanation as to what went wrong. 

Sincerely,

Tika

Order #26306

Forceful and slightly annoyed, but certainly not the cruelest or most vitriolic of letters. I have been in customer service, after all. This is the response:

Hi Tika,

Thank you for your email.  Due to the overwhelming success of the Malabrigo sale we ran in December, our supplier became somewhat backlogged.  Per our supplier, the remaining portion of your order is still being processed at this time.  We will have the rest of your order shipped to you the same day it arrives at our shipping location.

Your patience is greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Joe

What a great cut and paste job you've done, Joe! Clearly you've gotten a lot of emails about this issue, but did your company bother to use the mailing list to explain the situation in one simple step? Apparently not. Tika 2011 is losing her patience.

Hi Joe,

Do you have any idea when that might be? I - and I'm sure your other customers as well - have been waiting for over 3 months for yarn I expected to have within half that time. If I had known it would take this long, I would have ordered from somewhere else; now half of the yarn I need for my project is here and the other half is stuck in the backlog somewhere.  I recognize that you are a small business, but an email explaining the situation back within your original timeframe of 4-6 weeks would have been welcome. 

-Tika

 Hi Tika,

We do not have an ETA.  We have tried contacting our supplier every week asking for an ETA, and none yet.  If we had known the special sale we ran was going to take this long, we would have either forewarned our customers or not have run it at all.  We sincerely apologize for this, and understand your frustration as we are also very frustrated – and losing business. 

We are hoping it is not going to be much longer.  We will let you know as soon as your order has shipped or as soon as we find out an ETA.

Again, we apologize for this delay.

Thank you,

Joe

Aaaaand there you have it: the "poor us, we're losing business" excuse. Now, I have no doubt that they are indeed losing business, but not for the reason they think. No indeed; the reason they are losing business is because they did not bother to contact their customers over the course of three months to tell them that the product they ordered wasn't, in fact, available in anything like the (ridiculous) time frame given.
I replied that if I had not heard from them in two weeks, I would be contacting them to cancel the rest of the order. That's today, and just look what was in my inbox when I came home from work!

A Certain Website has sent you a shipment via USPS
The tracking number is: [redacted]

 Surely not! Can it be? The timing is, to say the least, suspicious. And having played this game once before, I checked my credit card. Sure enough, only one of the two missing items was charged; in my account on the website the whole order shows as shipped, and there is no information in the email as to the one lingering bag of Rios that was missing - the CPH That Wasn't, if you will. /sadface

Dear A Certain Website,

Thank you for the update on my order. As it has been over 3 months since I placed the original, please cancel any remaining parts of the order that have not shipped. As I understand it, that would be the bag of Malabrigo Rios. Please cancel the remainder of this order immediately.

Two weeks ago I corresponded with Joe, who explained your company's situation in regards to the Malabrigo sale from December. While I understand the dilemma and I am sorry that you are losing business, I want you to know that the reason I am canceling my order and will not be buying from you again is NOT because of your difficulty in getting the yarn from the supplier. If I had received any sort of communication from your company explaining the situation and giving me any kind of update whatsoever, I would have been happy to remain a customer. Even this email today did not contain the information that only one of the remaining two bags of yarn had shipped and neither did my account on your website; I had to check my bank statement in order to discover that both bags were not on their way to me. 

I do not expect you to take any recommendation I might have into consideration since I will no longer be a customer after today, but I do urge you to consider being more clear in your communications with your clientele. A simple proactive email would have ensured my loyalty and patience.

Sincerely,

Tika

Order #26306

 So I hope I made myself clear to you, dear reader, if not to whomever reads the website's emails. Annoyed Tika 2011 is annoyed! But wait! What should appear in my inbox but the following:

Hello Tika,

You have received a gift certificate from A Certain Website. You can use the gift certificate whenever you are shopping at our store within the duration specified. You are entitled to a reduction of $  10.00 with any $100.00 purchase (excluding shipping) at our store when you use this gift certificate.

Below are the details of your gift certificate :-

gift certificate ID : FE9AC0D3-00EB-9ACC-1FC857B98EADB3E6
Validity of the discount coupon : FROM 28 Mar 2011 UNTIL 04 Apr 2011 with any $100.00 purchase (excluding shipping).
Discount Value :$  10.00
Gift certificates used on any purchase less than $100.00 will not be honored.

It is easy to use your gift certificate. Just enter the gift certificate ID listed above when adding items to your shopping cart and your discount will be applied automatically.

So, what are you waiting for? Go on over to A Certain Website now and start shopping and saving immediately!

I... I don't even... WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!?

You might well ask, Sumptuous Yarn Sale dot com. You might well ask.

Tika: 1, Impetuosity: 0

On Sunday, I had an overwhelming desire to learn to make paper. Think of all the things I could make! With paper! And paper slurry! Look how I looked up the appropriate words; clearly I shall be a papermaker!! I could make the buttons for my Sacred Tempest Cardi (sitting on my desk gathering Darcy fur on the topmost piece, awaiting seaming...) out of paper! It would be fun and I could use up all those annoying ads I get in the mail and the 250-lb phonebook that I'm currently using as a doorstop (for real) and the plethora of Netflix extra paper from the mailing envelopes and and and

and then I forced myself to stop. I went into my bedroom and opened my closet, which currently houses literally thousands of dollars worth of wool in varying degrees of spun-ness. There is exactly 18 inches of space for hanging items, and only because the closet does a weird little juke thing that means I can't get more tubs of yarn into it. Then I forced myself to pick up an unfinished-due-to-slacking knitting project (helloooo, Hera Mountain Shawl!), plug into an audiobook, and ignore my papermaking cravings.

At least until I finish this shawl.


P.S. - the thunder is rolling again. I have Taken Precautions: Form of FIRE (and iPod Charge!) this time, so worry not, my puddle ducklings!

Knitting Olympics 2010

I signed up for The Yarn Harlot's 2010 Knitting Olympics.

Mostly because I am crazy-sauce with not enough to do considering grad school, sheep shearing this weekend and next, and Stitches West.

Also because I desperately want to knit my Stonington Shawl and this seemed like the best way to accomplish that goal.

Which means I have to go work on my [redacted] now, because there is NO WAY it will be finished before 6pm on the 12th, and the 28th is uncomfortably close to when the [redacted] will be given away. Also I have to wind yarn and order the Panda Silk edging, which will hopefully arrive quickly, in the appropriate dye lot, and with very little fuss. Did you know that Gloss Lace now only comes in 4 colors, NONE OF WHICH GO TOGETHER and none of which are black?!? WTF is that? I know I could dye some of my Gloss Lace Bare, but I don't want a semi-solid border. Also the Panda Silk is slightly heavier than the Gloss Lace, so I think it'll give the shawl some nice extra drape. Or at least that's the hope...

In addition to working on the [redacted], I have 2 school projects due this week. Perhaps my knitting ambition is getting the better of me? Or perhaps I just need a high-pressure project to get myself motivated in more aspects of my life? Yea... that sounds good. We'll go with the second one.

My eyes are bugging out of my head just thinking about it.

Why So Familiar, Tika?

I am a consummate Starter of Projects. I get all wound up about an Idea, gather Supplies, and dive into the Sea of Possibilities.

You know how in the Carribean Sea there's an island-sized floating mass of garbage? My Sea of Possibilities has one of those called the Island of Discarded Beginnings. It's full of half-completed paintings, beaded bracelets, sewing projects, photography series, and Grand Organizational Lists. There might be a few relationships or good intentions out there too, but we won't talk about those.

Anyway, this last weekend THB and I went up to visit my mom and hang out. I took the [redacted] thinking that I could complete a large chunk of it while waiting for my Stepdad to finish his turns in Settlers of Catan. Then on Saturday night while watching the first Harry Potter on VHS*, I ran out of yarn. Or to be more precise, I ran out of the yarn I had brought with me; there's plenty of yarn for the [redacted] at home. Since Mom and I had just spent the afternoon photographing her stash for Ravelry** I now have a pretty good idea of what her stash looks like, and because we share a terror of being without Something to Occupy the Hands, she happily loaned me 2 balls of KP Risata and a set of needles.


I really like this yarn so far, and it's gotten pretty decent reviews from Mom and on Ravelry. Combine the reviews with the reasonable price point [~$10/pair (non-knitters will be horrified, knitters will be relatively impressed. Such is the knitter's life)], a desire for more solid-colored socks, and my sudden realization that I absolutely do NOT have enough pairs of handmade socks (especially if I'm going to move to the PNW where I will need to wear socks more than half of the year), and I was ready to order a few dozen balls of this yarn the moment my student aid check comes in the door.

I've been playing with an idea for peasant heel socks. In the past when I've used a peasant heel, my socks have stretched too tightly over my instep and made my feet fall asleep. So in this pair of socks, I added a tiny heel flap to give ease over the instep, then inserted the scrap yarn for the peasant heel to be added later. And that brings me to the Familiar portion of today's blog post. Here was my thought process:

1. Risata comes in a bunch of colors!
2. Peasant heel socks lend themselves neatly to contrasting heels-and-toes, don't they?
3. In fact, 3 balls of a main color and one of the contrasting color would give me two matching pairs of socks; maybe even three!
4. I shall have a veritable DRAWER full of socks with contrasting heels and toes, both of which can be replaced at very little trouble!
5. I am so clever!
6. I can't believe I have never thought of this before!!
7. wait a minute...

Yep. I have definitely had this idea before, but with Lorna's Laces. And it's definitely a good one, but in the last few months I have become something of a tightwad and I can't shake the idea that I should at least dig into the LL stash and ::cough:: try the concept ::cough:: before I invest in a whole 'nother stash of sock yarn with the same goal. I know, right?

So I put aside the Risata Socks, dug through the Monster Stash (I need a better filing system than "that looks like sock yarn..."), pulled out 2 skeins of Lorna's Laces, and wound them up:

"Chocolate" for the H/T, "South Shore" for the body

I'll be casting on in a few minutes and then I'll let you know how it goes. Lorna's Laces is one of my favorite sock yarns despite the fact that I only have one pair of socks made out of it. They are without question my favorite socks that I've made, and I've gotten more compliments on them than on anything else I've knitted for my feet. Having more socks made out of yarn that is a) already in my stash, b) one of my favorites, and c) possibly the culmination of several months of thought about sock design makes me feel virtuous and happy. Also Stitches West 2010 is coming up, but we won't talk about that either...

Time to dive in again!

Darcy knows by now to duck and cover in times of Great Crafting Creativity.

*We had to remember to be kind, rewind at the end. Much hilarity ensued. Also, the Harry Potter kids were SO young! It made me feel SO old!

**Aren't I a good daughter?!?