23 December, 2008

A Snort of Reprieve

I had a crappy night. My boss assured me that I would indeed be needed at 8am sharp tomorrow - groan. You may recall that the cat food ran out (see yesterday under barrel, bottom of)  and when I tried to go buy new, they had 2/3 of the kinds of cat food I need to keep my petit chats digestive systems in working order. Believe me, petless people, when I say that changing the mixture of a cat's food and then leaving for 3 days will almost guarantee that you return home to a newer, smellier and more textured floor covering than you left behind. It's practically begging for it. And the nice guy at the pet food store helpfully informed me that the shipment of the 1/3 I need will be coming in - you guessed it - tomorrow at 8am. ARGH. 

So I bought 2 30-pound bags and one 3 pound bag and mixed myself up a mere 9 pounds of cat food - enough to last for the next couple of weeks, but mama doesn't mess with a working recipe. So 9 pounds it is. And then, to add insults to my pile of heaping coals and quickly degenerating mood, when I tried to change the litter out of the boxes on the porch, I did it wrong and got used cat litter all over my (rotting) porch. More on the rotting later, but it doesn't really fit into this story. I haven't fallen through... yet. 

I staggered back inside after cleaning everything up to find Panza scratching at a suspiciously wet spot on the Red Futon of Undying Ugliness. Oh, yes. While I was cleaning his toilet, the little bastard pissed all over my futon. 

I got so mad I bundled the whole thing up and dragged it to the trash. 

Then I called ManCandy in Illinois to inform him that we are now two seats/one bed short in our living room, and what did he intend to do about it? Because clearly if he hadn't left and had been sitting at his computer, Panza would never have christened the futon. The fact that he likely would have christened my bed instead was something MC was wise enough not to bring up. 

Lastly, I cracked a bottle of Ravenswood Old Vine Shiraz - smells like chocolate and black cherries - and sat down to watch my new obsession: Smallville. Surely packing could wait until I was calmer.

Then... my boss called to inform me that she does not, in fact, need me tomorrow, Merry Christmas, and she'll see me on the 5th. Next, ManCandy called to say that I shouldn't worry about the weird smell in the fridge, that it'll keep (HAH!) till Saturday, and that he'll clean it when he gets back home. Plus he loves me even when I blame him for things that aren't his fault (or so he claims). And lastly, my mom called to tell me that my grandmother isn't coming to Christmas after all due to the horrible weather in Portland - which makes me sad, but also means I have all the gifts finished for Household #2. 

I think I'll have another glass of wine, oogle Lex Luthor while contemplating why a girl with 3 feet of hair is attracted to a bald guy, sleep in tomorrow morning, and then leave for family, hearth and home for Christmas. All in all, it turned out rather well, I'd say.


  1. I clean up cat puke a few times a week...sometimes Sparky will leave very non-solid presents in front of out bedroom door. Then there's the matter of Stevie the Hutt who likes to piss on every door in the hallway.

    I feel your pain ;)

  2. Maybe it was an early Christmas present from your cat? And maybe you'll get an Ikea gift certificate and you could get another uncomfortable futon? You could, alternatively, felt one...