Dear Lord Above,
Thank you for California and the beautiful beaches and bitches and hot men and endless miles of freeway with toll boths (but Lord, is it really a freeway if I have to pay to cross a bridge?). Thank you that a bunch of my family live here and for Disneyland every New Year's Eve and happy cows and the Sonoma Valley that's so much better than the Napa Valley.
Lord, I know we people down here on earth have messed up the planet pretty good by now. I know that we do things and worry about the consequences later, which is probably a fault. I just want to point out in the politest and least judgy way possible that California has - as a whole - tried quite hard to contribute to the closing of the holes in the ozone layer and to lay off the CFC's. There are other states that are much worse than we are - Michigan and Illinois for example, not to mention Tejas. And Lord, forgive me if I'm being judgy or opinionated but my momma raised me to tell the truth and the truth is it's GODDAMNED HOT HERE AND WE DON'T DESERVE IT.
So Lord, if you could find it in your heart to have pity on this state, or maybe just city, or maybe just on my one little apartment in the South Bay, I would really, really appreciate it. Because the gardeners have decided that the best time to water the plants is in the late afternoon, which uses up all the cool water and leaves me with steam coming from my taps.
PS - sorry about the profanity. Have I mentioned it's hot?